So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
