So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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