If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
