btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
