The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
