he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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