my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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