And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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