God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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