Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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