you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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