After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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