I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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