This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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