my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
operation harelip BJ is a go
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
