you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
