butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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