wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
