Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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