Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
