You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
