I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
