I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
