Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
