um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
