i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
