Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
