no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
