You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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