I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
