he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
