Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
