I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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