No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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