rhymes with "ouble enetration"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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