It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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