p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
