i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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