happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
