I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
