You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Let's paint friendship bongs
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
