That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
