You can't motorboat a personality
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
