so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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