May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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