whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wanna go halves on a baby?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize