She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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