just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
