Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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