girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
