That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
