Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
