well you can't waste a boner
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
