By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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